Day 1: The Workouts Begin

If you remember your sixth grade prom as horridly vivid as I do, you might also remember how awkward that first dance was. This first workout was not like that, but it could've been. Tyler was great about easing into the workout, fully aware that I may or may not be familiar with the moves. It also helped to give him a better idea of how I workout, how often and which muscle groups I recruit if I begin to get tired, understanding what the right weights were for different moves, and even help establish a common vocabulary between the two of us.

For this workout, we did two cycles of moves that incorporated a lot of core muscles and integrated total body. Below are the exercises that comprised a single cycle (DISCLAIMER: these may or may not be the official names... but they also may or may not be far superior to their forgettable originals... why can't we just name exercises names like Bob... or Sandy... Snoopy?):

Monster-walking
FOCUS: gluts (especially gluteus medius), core
2 sets of walking from side to side with a resistance band around the area just above the ankles. It's a lot like walking around your room with your pants around your ankles, which I think may actually be a practical skill in life... Hey, you never know when an earthquake will strike!

Also monster walking.

Kettlebell squat with overhead lift

FOCUS: quads, gluts, superior pecs, delts, triceps, biceps, core

1 set of squats while holding a kettlebell up against your chest (elbows in! chicken dancing is for weddings, sixth grade proms... any formal occasion really) followed by an overhead lift at the top of the squat. If you're falling backwards because of balance, that's okay since it means that your focusing on the right form and trying to go as deep as possible with your squat.

Unilateral box step-up

FOCUS: quads, gluts, hams, core

1 set each side (1 + 1 = deux), step up on a platform/box with one leg at a time. Keep the movement smooth and controlled all the way up and all the way down to get the most of out of the move (think "Black Swan" with a little less florid psychosis). Also, make sure not to just let yourself drop on the way down, since at that point you'd be putting a higher degree of impact on your hips and working out the gravity muscles all up in your imaginary mind.

Kneeling unilateral overhead press

FOCUS: lats, triceps, biceps, core

1 set each side, kneel (make sure that both legs are parallel and aligned in this position) with a kettlebell in one hand in a "racked" position in front of your chest, pivot arm out, raise overhead, and bring back to start in reverse order. That is, hold the kettlebell so the top of the handle is in your palm and the bell is leaning on the back of your forearm. The key to this is making sure that you remain completely balanced, that your wrist is completely straight throughout the whole motion. Keep your balance as you rotate our arm laterally (not too far out or you'll injure your shoulder and/or fall over... which ever fate decide for you first). Raise the kettlebell overhead in a smooth, controlled motion. Err on the side of moving too slow rather than too fast while making sure that you feel the work being down by your muscles and not your joints. Pain in joints = No bueno.

Nice rack.

Bridge hamstring curl

FOCUS: gluts, hams, core (notice the core theme yet?)

1 set, raise into half-bridge position with feet on balance ball and curl ball towards your body while keeping a solid bridge.

Mind the gap.

Plank combo

FOCUS: total core (especially abs)

30 seconds in standard/missionary plank position, 30 seconds in side bridge on left, 30 seconds in side bridge on right.

Showing others your handle and your spout is good form.

Push-up strife

FOCUS: pecs, biceps, triceps, core

1 set, standard/missionary push-up position with one hand on a (stable) kettlebell on the ground. Push-up, walk hands toward opposite side so the other hand can lay on top of the kettlebell, push-up again.... lather, rinse, repeat.

Farmer-walking

FOCUS: quads, gluts, hamstrings, lats, wrist flexors, core

Walk one lap around the room (approximately 30 seconds at moderate speed) with a kettlebell in each hand (kind of like a farmhand!). Make sure to keep back straight (imagine like you're trying to tuck your shoulder blades into your back pockes) and core tight... breathe, too!

The boundary between "farmer walking" and "monster walking" can be a very thin line...

Snoopy

FOCUS: core (specifically serratus anterior, transversus abdominis, and obliques)
1 set for each side. Start by standing about four shoulder-widths away from a cable tower, and (parallel to the tower so your shoulder is facing it) bring the cable to your chest with both hands, extend your arms out, and now rotate your upper body (only with your upper body--no hips) away and towards the tower. The range of motion is about 90 degrees from your center... kind of like you're slicing a tall pillar of butter....that's about as thick as the trunk of a tree... so... you're slicing a butter-tree...)

Repeat all of these so you do a total of two cycles. Finish by doing some simple dynamic stretch--just enough to increase blood flow through your muscles without causing non-exercise induced muscle tearing. Feel free to use the long styrofoam roller to massage calves and quads by placing your weight on it as you roll back and forth (more details on stretching and massage later).

Overall, it was a great workout in terms of learning some variations on moves and starting to get a feel for working with Tyler. Maybe one day I'll be Tyler's "that guy"...

That guy.